they rele attracts me.

yesterday when i went the pearl..
there was that european guy who wears a pair earrringgggss.
and i was like "OMG, he is so hot"

so when i come back,
i was seriously thinking abt which type of guy attracts me the most,
and the conclusion is below.

first of all..
they will attracts me if they know how to play:




somehow, boys that knows how to play an instrument can rele take my breathe away,
maybe becuz i know how to play piano and little bit of drum,
all the guy friends of mine knows how to play some instrument.
H knows how to play piano and guitar;
P knows how to play guitar and D knows how to play all three of them.
anyway.. boys that play an instrument is just.. rele special,
they have that special charisma that rele attracts me.
piano is gentle and romantic; guitar is cool and passionate; drum is obsessive and powerful. so they r they key of my heart!!!

second of all..
is their wearing and appearence.
earrings,think frame glasses and hair is obviously the MOST IMPORTANT THING.



i think most of my friends knows that i am OBSESSED with guys wearing earrings.
becuz they r just so amazing, hot and sexy.
then is the think frame glasses.
but to be honest, only asain guys look nice with them.
they look very fashionable and so MY TYPE.
the last part is the hair.
i seriously dun like it when guys hair r short. it so werid and ugly. [ no offense ppl,, i mean in general ]
but in the opposite, guys with longer hair is way better.
when i say longer, i dun mean like girls hair, all the way until the ASS..
i mean like a little longer like all these asain guy celebrities.[ u know who im talking abt ryt?!]

so,,,yeah..
i got to finishi my english essay.
so..
end of the post.

sorry to everyone

as the title said..
i wanna say sorry to everyone that I hurt before.
including u.

sometimes, i might be emotional;
sometimes, i might be serious;
sometimes, i might be childish;
even sometimes, i might not care abt other ppls feeling.
if i hurt your feeling before.. rele, i dont mean it.

it is just me..
it is just the way i think and act.

maybe sometimes, my action make u misunderstand me,
like nisa wrote in her blog, i was NOT angry becuz of her,
i was just feeling guilty becuz of wat she said...
u said nothing wrong nisa.. no need to feel sorry
so if i hurt ur feeling or anything.
then i am sorry for that.

not only her,
all my other friends,
if i rele hurt u before,
pliz forgive me..
cuz i rele care all of u.

it felt like valentine's day

so yesterday when I arrived home,
wheather you believe or not..
i received a chocolate and a strawberry cake.
it might sound normal.
but it was actually very SHOCKING.

right after i stepped in the house,,
there was a bell.
my mom opened the door and asked me to come over.
so i went to the door,while my fair was flying everywhere..i looked horrible.
and i saw a delivery guy from Opera.
he was holding a HUGE wooden box of chocolate and cake with a gold cover.

IT WAS FOR ME!
i was so shocked and happy at the same time.
the happy part is becuz i received a chocalate and cake from sumone.,
but the scary part is how dd they know my house address?!!
and it was just 5 seconds after i arrived home! how can the delivery be so accurate at the time?! wat a coinsidence!!!

obviously, the thing i RELE wanna know is..
who bought all of this??!!
i am SERIOUSLY so curious!!

but anyway.. i have to thank to that person for some reason.
it was the first time i felt so sweet since xxx left,
he made me felt like valentine's day again.

they r my friend

i just read saher's blog...
and i cried twice becuz of wat she wrote.
and....she had the same comment as my ex.
EXACTLY THE SAME. I SWEAR.

so since that entry was SO NICE...
i am going to write abt my friend now.
but to be honest, they r more like my family now.
part of me.

so first..
Tina.
she is my only europe friend until now. she is 16. she is kind of moody but very real. somehow she gave me a feeling that she never lie to me. like i can trust her 100%.she is mature and childish.haha. she gave me a sense that she will be my friend forever. she make me safe somehow.weird. she has same interest as me.we have the same dream. i like to listen to her story,and she is my only friend in Qatar that has a bf. I THINK. may be others also do....-. - anyway...she is important to me. i love u!

Saher.
she is my soulmate. seriously. she understands me the most. i think. she is a perfect advisor in all topics. even the things abt love , she sounds so experienced. plus.. she is the one who understand my adultish jokes. her personality, umm..mature but most of the times LAME. she said i dont know where the key of her tressure box is, but i will try my best to find it. anyway..all those things made her precious to me. i love u.

Siti.
i sometimes see her in me. she is one of the person i can not live without. when something happen to me, she is the first one that i wanna share it with. she always listen to me when i tell her my story. as i described her to the others this thursday after school, she is so sweet and caring. i thought she was innocent too, but trust me, don't judge by the cover. she is always smiling, and this made me always happy and made her REALLY important to me. i love u.

Nisa.
she is cute. REALLY CUTE.i love her action and everything. she is floppy too. also comprehensive and made me feel i need her in my life. she can really make me think abt her when i doing my h.w./when i am in the car. like saher said, she can rele steal ur heart. she is special as well. she is the first person i c in my entire life, that covers the eyes when laughing and cover the mouth when crying. but anyway...she is valuable to me. i love u.

Rawan.
she is my only Qatari friend. i love her eyes. it's so beautiful. and her trousers. i think we hav same taste abt guys too. bag. when i first saw her, she made think she is mean, but after a period of time, when i get the chace to know her, she is REALLY NICE. and LAME too. she is soft and hard. she is rele scary when she gets angry.she is also a nice person to share secrets. i like seeing her around me. she is very special to me. i love u.

Cania.
100% weird when i first see her. even now. but i kind of feel empty when i don't see her. all those cartoony face expression and body movements made her unique to me. she looks pure and childish, but she actually know a lot of things. she can be rele serious. i don't understand her sometimes. like i can not see through her mind.she is very happy and needed. she dosen't get me and saher's adultish joke, but the innocency made me love her more. i love u.

Marsya.
a clone of cania. also cartoony and 100% innocent and neutral. she likes eating and have special laughs and her own point. she is 24 hrs online. and when ever i have somthing new, she is always online. so i tell her everything online, even though she dosen't get it. and she always get off topic. the usual way for us to end a conversation, is always 'lily, g2g, i am going to baskin-robbins.bye!!' when i talk abt love with others, she always come and ask"lily, u dun love me?" and the answer to that is obviously' i love u'.


those 7 ppl i just wrote abt, r seriously the one i can not live without.
they let me know the importance of friends. like i said before, they r part of me,
and valuable to me.

Afrina, Kerry, Marium, Eman, Farah and Amsyarul r also my friends forever.

i love all of u, and want to be with u guys forever.

it was the best day ever!

the reason y i am typing today but actually talking abt yesterday...
is becuz i was soo tired and had soo many things to think abt.

so first of all, after school me,saher,rawan,nisa and cania went to a petite resturant in west bay, BY WALKING, it was so HOT. saher and cania said it felt like IA again.
we struggled a bit abt wat to eat, then me & cania decided to eat cheese burger, nisa & saher chose rise, and rawan chose ....potato wedges ...-. - to be honest, nisa ate a lot, we were amazed!!

then cania's mom came with carisa in the car, and we r on the way to farah's house. me, rawan and cania seated in the middle row with nisa and saher at the back with all of our bags, [becuz they r the 'smallest'] we blew 12 balloons, and i made one in my entire life!!!!

we put our bag into farah's house and started our action. the first few was not bad, but horrible things starts to happen.

i was the one who holds the candy box; saher was responsible to talk [ with my help]; rawan was writting down the house numbers; nisa was holding the posters; and cania was the money keeper.

there was that one house that gaves all of us a shock. the conversation below is exactly wat happened.

saher: do u want any candy is for charity.
me: is for Ghaza.
nisa: *shows the poster*
the woman from the house: [in arabic] i'll call the police. u will be in PRISON! so go away.
all of us: ...........................................*with a scared face*

to be honest, we WERE SOOOOO SCARED!!! and after a while when we finally get over this, next thing happened. ---- siti could not find the compound.

after a few calls with siti, i decided to out of the compound to the BIG BRIDGE, which takes abt 10 minutes to walk. i ddn't care but others were a bit shocked. so me & saher went to the bridge, and waited for siti for about 1hr 15 mins. IT WAS LONG AND TERRIBLE. and of course hard to find. and as i guessed- she could not come.

we ddn't blame her AT ALL. is wasn't her fault and she tried her best. beside it IS hard to find when the map is TOTALLY wrong. the reason y i worried so much and decide to go 2 the bridge in a second, is becuz it was the first time her mom allow her to come out with us, so i rele wanted her to come, and without her we are not completed, but anyway......

then when me & saher went back to the compound with a mixed mood, afrina CAME!! we were so happy that she found the house with the wrong map!

we had a little rest in farah's house and ate some donuts. then we continued our charity events.
we thought everything will be fine now, BUT, there were a bunch of 5 or 6 years old boys keeps following us, AND stop us from doing charity. they told every one to not buy our things and etc etc.they WERE SO ANNOYING.

we still continued to finish selling all the product and went back to farah's house for a chat.

we took a lot of pictures and took videos. we talked abt our future plans, our dreams, wat kind of guys we like and our secrets. we all shared our secrets. when i said my secrets, they some how said ' we alrede know that'.

me: my secret is i still ...
all the rest: we alrede know that!!!!!
me: ........................u guys tricked me!!!

another convo was also funny when we talked abt our future.

saher: we will go to different university one day.
nisa: yeah~~~
cania: we will seperate one day.
*the atmosphere was SAD.*
me : * i putted my hand on my nose and sounds like crying*
all the rest: Lilly~~ don't cry~~~
me : i'm not crying , i hav running nose!
others: *stares* then .........*laughs*

after all this happy moments, sad moments , it was time for us to seperate... go home.
before we left, when all of us is putting on our shoes and taking our bags,i broke the last balloon and it scared all of them.

me: let's hope our friendship last forever!
rawan: unlike the balloon.

my mom picked me, saher & rawan, and dropped rawan and saher to landmark. then i went home.

after taking a shower, i just went to bed directly.
lying on my bed, i thougt abt everything we talked abt, and everything we've been through today, or even before, when we first met, from strangers to classmates to friends to best friends.

overall, like nisa said, we worked together ,we laughed, we cried, but
IT WAS THE BEST DAY EVER!!

physic is annoying me !!!!

well... i hafe a physic test tmoro...
the teacher said is mock...and it is important.

teacher:"the test is hard, but not very hard, but hard"
students:"silent....then laughs.hahah"

the 1st part was quite easy, since it is only abt multipal choise questions,
and i got an A grade which is GOOD.!!!

the one i am gonna do tmoro is the second part of the test,
which takes 80% of the total mark...
and it's commented by teacher" it is very hard"[again]
and he expect us to study 3hours per day.which is impossible.i confess.

but anyway....my brain just can't concentrate on this somehow..
or may be my brain is full alrede.!

and i somehow ended it up by watching "noona you're so pretty"MV

replay replay replay~~~~

i should start a new life now.

since i am 100% purely single now,
i should forget everything that happened in the last relationship,
and start a new life.

but somehow,
i just feel like my next relationship is coming soon;
i dont know y.
i just feel like he is somewhere there, very close,
but i dont know who it's gonna be...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i think everyone should understand me,
cuz this is my 1st time in my entire life breaking-up with some one,
so i need time,
i need some time to get the memories out of my head,
i need some time to forget him, [or them]
i need some time to relax,
i need some time to face myself.

even though i dont know how long I need,
even though i dont know i can ever forget him or not,
but there is one thing i am sure abt:
wat i did was right,
and i should start a new life..............

someday.

it ended..

well, today, finally we ended our relationships.
the guy who's family name begins with a H is not my bf anymore.
ALSO the "park" guy.
I dont wanna say their name again.
it makes me .... feel weird.
i was typing the words "let's break up" with....tears,
it wasn't a good experience, especially when u have to say it to 2 guys,
it was HORRIBLE.
but i knew it was something i had to face, something that will come one day.
and, now, guess wat?- i hav a FEVER-40.1 degree.
i know why i hav a fever, it's becuz of him.

before, i thought i dont love him anymore,
but just after we breakup, i realized i felt so EMPTY.
he said he doesn't mind that i cheated on him or anything,
but i was SO determined and COLD-HEARTED.

the reason y i finally have the courage to do that,
is becuz one of my best friend told me,
when u love someone, you would sacrifice for him,
and let him be happy.
and i can finally face my real feelings.

i break up with him, becuz i want him to be happy,
even though i break up with him,
i still love him....

when u realize some one that used to belongs to u, dosen't belongs to you anymore,
u will definately feel like crying.--> trust me!!!

i dont know y, when i type all this stuff,
my tears just came out for no reason,
and i can not stop it.

anyway,
i wish u happy,
and forgive me that i had to do so.

14.1.09 r they trustworthy?!

[I\'ve been living with a shadow overhead
I\'ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I\'ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can\'t seem to move on]

this is part of the lyrics which describes exactly wat I feel .

from wat happened to my 2 best friends,
i seriously wonder r boys trust-worty?

i believe all the girls wants a wonderful relationship, and trust that guy 100%,
but is that wat we should do?

and if we finally realize it we were wrong,
is it too late to regret??

why does girls have to suffer the most after breaking-up?
is spending time with tears the only way to feel better?

--------- i feel so powerless when i heard the story from them,
i really wanna help them to get out of this,
but i can not do anything...

breaking-up with someone will hurt for a while,
but the only way to get out of this,
is to actually realize what love really is, which is to ......sacrifised.

umm..my first ENGLISH blog

to be honest, this blog is more like a place where I can express my feelings and record my life.
umm... it will include some of my secrets like my crushs and my 2 complicated relationships etc.
BUT, IF one day i like someone in the school, then i will write it in chinese. 嘻嘻:P